Oct 14, 2008

Because College is Where We Discover The Limits of Our Bodies

They are thinking of their regrets.

Below is a list of what we learned in college that didn't come from a book. I guarantee that there will be more to come in the future.
EDIT: I've reduced the names to their first letters to, erm, uh, protect identities? yeah. And I've added one. To include another friend.

1. In the first week of classes the entire floor discovered that an all-you-can-eat dining hall is a blessing and a curse.

2. K downed a shot of soy sauce. Later he said it was like a shot to the heart.

3. B found out how often he could have sex before his grades dropped significantly.

4. B and M discovered the evils of grain alcohol. “They should call it ‘Neverclear,’” M said.

5. R found that she could force two inches of the corner of her laptop in her mouth.

6. K stayed awake for 60 hours straight during midterms.

7. N had a bout with booze that ended up with a mess.

8. I sustained an all-nighter by drinking three pots of tea throughout the night. My sleep patterns didn’t resume a normal schedule until the next week.

9. My legs screamed at me when I finally figured out the difference between “working out” and “WORKING OUT.”

10. K ran on the treadmill until his heart rate reached 201. The rest of his day was awful.

11. J, A and I walked four and a half miles across the city at four in the morning to get back to campus.

12. K walked a mile in high heels.

13. J discovered within the first five days of turning 21 just how long he could be drunk before not wanting to be drunk ever again.

14. L listened to the furniture talk while taking salvia.

15. J started smoking, quit smoking, and started smoking again.

16. R’s and my bodies punished us after our attempts to do a split.

17. T fit his 6'6'' body into the cardboard box that R's desk chair came in.

18. K went vegan for a week and regretted it.

19. J and I realized just how awful it is to bike half a mile uphill with backpacks full of canned goods.

20. J, G, N, A and I went trick-or-treating at the embassies and discovered how disgustingly hot a D.C. october can be inside polyester costumes.

21. A added 4 piercings to her body. She is looking for more spaces to pierce.


Anonymous said...

I think my favorite is #20. I love the idea of trick-or-treating at an embassy. Did you dress as Sarah Palin?

Katie Bee said...

This was last year and, alas, the name Sarah Palin meant nothing to me. I went as QuailMan from the TV show Doug. It was actually a last second attempt at a costume which involved me wearing lots of layers and a wool cap with a belt tied around it and a cape made out of a blanket and it was HOT. I dunno if I am going to go again this year, the candy selection was miserable (but the embassies were cool!).

Anonymous said...

I imagine embassies handing out weird foreign candy, or health food. Some of them might even give out cocktails!

Katie Bee said...

yeah. I did, too. They didn't. It was so upsetting! Mostly just jolly ranchers, too. At night, we swung by the dense, rich suburbs behind our school and hit JACKPOT. So much cool candy! And my friend was dressed like a WWII soviet soldier, he collected what he called "capitalist baseball players" (babe ruths).

A.J.C. said...

So... you went to an embassy wearing your undies on the outside... nice!!

By the way, I can relate to #'s 6 and 8 very well. I never sleep.