Dec 8, 2008

I've Got A New Broken Computer

The good folks at Mac decided to return my computer to me, juuuuust in time for finals (but not in time for writing final papers).

However, this new computer has new problems, one is that my internet is very cantankerous. Conversations with my computer go like this:

"Will you work this time, computer? Oh. That's ok, computer. You go ahead and do what you want. Oh, you'll upload my facebook page, but not my email? That's cool, thanks. Oh! You're uploading email! ...but not blogger. Computer, I don't understand you! OH GOOD GOD NO DON'T CRASH I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID. Oh you went and crashed. Well, let's restart this (pushes button). Hello, Computer! Oh. You're not sensing internet at all? Damnit! I hate you, Computer."

These conversations are a little one-sided, I'll admit. I sound a little crazy (you know, talking to inanimate objects and all), but it IS finals time and I AM going crazy because of it. Also, my roommate's mom is staying in the room for a couple days. I am cool with that and all but we are fitting THREE people in this room. We've each got this precious little 8'x8' section of dorm room. I can't imagine living in a triple. I also can't imagine my mom staying on my floor. "Hey, Mom, these are my friends. They are good people, except it is Tuesday at eight pm and they are drunk. Disregard that. They are good, smart people. Remember, we are the future."

AUGH, finals.

ps. I'm writing this from a different computer. Lappy McLaptop and me are NOT getting along.

9 comments:

Nick Dreher said...

I have a few comments to make about this post. First off, I personally don't mind that your computer is broken because that means that you take my computer to procrastinate and I am much more productive without the procrastination machine. Second, if you wanted a computer that worked, you don't have to get a mac. The experience of many of my friends with macs, you included, is that they have a habit of tiring of their hard drives. Third, there is very rarely drinking at eight pm on Tuesday nights here. You are exaggerating. Fourth, you lie! I know for a fact that you posted this post on your mac. If you lie to your readers about little matters such as this, how can we believe that you are an Allentownian, and not a cat?

Chris Casey said...

KB,
I find your posts to be most humorous! Have you tried threatening to throw lappy mclaptop off the roof? Have you waved an aluminum baseball bat at it in a threatening manner?
Give that a whirl!

Katie Bee said...

@Nick: Nick, Nick, Nick. You are my friend! And that is why I am going to be nice to you here. First off, YOU are the procrastination machine. Remember when we realized who the real Captain Distraction was? You. Secondly, Macs function beautifully. Unlike your wheezy, clunky PCs, Macs know how to deal with shit. Just not hard drives... Still, you don't have to call it a Fisher Price computer. It hurts its feelings. Thirdly, you clearly weren't here the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. MAYBE I AM EXAGGERATING TO MAKE THE STORY GOOD. Fourth, NO SIR, YOU LIE.

Mrreow!

@ Chris: the computer is so stubborn I think that if I tried coercion techniques (waterboarding, prying off keys one by one, etc) the computer would just spit acid all over me and my new music collection. I fear this computer.

Sarina said...

Don't touch its keys. They don't like that. Very territorial.

Justice Randolph said...

I am extremely upset that I have apparently lost the title of Capt. Distraction. I shall have to double my efforts!

gsbrace said...

Ah, computers and college. Stroking its ego is a waste of time. I always took the hardline: deprive it of the updates it claims to need. When it cooperates, it can get its new stuff. Till then, work digital processing slave.

Good luck.

A.J.C. said...

cantankerous, ajd. preserve in disposition; cross; ill-natured.

Yes, I had to look it up...

j black said...

Anyone wanna buy a typewriter/wordprocessor for cheap ? I also am teaching short-hand for those who are interested...:)

J.

Katie Bee said...

@sarina - you should SEE what this computer tries to do when i touch the keys! it pretty much just ends up typing out a long string of curse words. But that might be me, too.

@Justice - GOOD GOD NO you are the real captain distraction.

@gs brace - depriving it of updates is what STARTED this nonsense. Apparently, if you wait three months to do updates, it fries the hard drive.

@A.J.C. - there is an exact right word for everything! And cantankerous is it. The SATs taught it to me and i am pretty sure that this is the only time i've gotten to use it.

@J. - Typewriters have their own troubles. And I am pretty sure there are fewer people around who know how to fix them these days!